how to get there

What every fictional character should know:  advice on various ways of getting out and about in the Old Solar System.  

dan-dare-how-to-get-there

get super-rich and hire all the brains you need

"...Now as to how I'm going to get to the Moon, that's a silly question.  There's not a man in here who can cope with anything more complicated in the way of machinery than a knife and fork.  You can't tell a left-handed monkey-wrench from a reaction engine, yet you ask me for blue-prints of a space-ship.
    "Well, I'll tell you how I'll get to the Moon.  I'll hire the proper brain-boys, give them everything they want, see to it that they have all the money they can use, sweet talk them into long hours - then stand back and watch them produce..."

Robert A Heinlein, The Man Who Sold the Moon (1950)

Stid:  That's all very well, Zendexor, but not all of us are quite so well-heeled as Elon - I mean Delos D - Harriman.  We need a different way forward for those of us in a state of comparative pecuniary depletion.

Zendexor:  Coming up...

fiddle around with gravity

 "...my theory of Uranus as a habitable planet was derided.  I decided that I could prove the thing to the world in just one way, by reaching Uranus and bringing back incontrovertible proofs.  The thing became a mania with me, and in the past two years I've worked unceasingly on it, trying to find a way to span the gulf of more than a billion miles that lies between our world and Uranus.
    "I found the way, Devlin.  I discovered a method of bending the lines of gravitational force, making it possible for me to concentrate momentarily all the tremendous attractive power of any planet upon a single point or object.  You see what that meant?  It meant that I could build a strong steel air-tight chamber like a diving-bell, here on earth, and by means of the mechanism inside it could concentrate on that bell for a moment all the terrific attractive power of Uranus!
    "The bell and all in it would instantly be torn loose from earth's hold and jerked across the gulf of space with unthinkable speed to Uranus!  Just before reaching it the mechanism would automatically reverse to make it land gently..."

Edmond Hamilton, The Terror Planet (Weird Tales, May 1932)

    "I begin to see," I said slowly.  "And you could get in and screw yourself up while the Cavorite was warm, and as soon as it cooled it would become impervious to gravitation, and off you would fly - "
    "At a tangent."
    "You would go off in a straight line - "  I stopped abruptly.  "What is to prevent the thing travelling in a straight line into space for ever?" I asked.  "You're not safe to get anywhere, and if you do - how will you get back?"
    "I've thought of that," said Cavor.  "That's what I meant when I said the thing is finished.  The inner glass sphere can be air-tight, and, except for the manhole, continuous, and the steel sphere can be made in sections, each section capable of rolling up after the fashion of a roller blind..."

H G Wells, The First Men in the Moon (1901)

Stid:  I again have to point out a similar drawback, Zendexor.  In the two examples you've just given, success depends on your being, or being acquainted with, a scientific genius, just as the Heinlein example depends on the availability of a financial wizard.  How the heck are more ordinary blokes supposed to achieve lift-off?

Zendexor:  I sympathise, it's hard for those without talent.  You're understandably anxious to obtain a method with less demanding criteria.  Well then, relax: I've got one that ought to suit you, one which requires no brains at all:

get kidnapped

 ...The decapods were on them; one about to enter the ship.  And not empty-handed either.  In one arm was a wildly kicking horse, in whose tilted saddle a police officer clung, in another a small girl of about six, who, in turn, clasped a mewing kitten to her breast.  An ashen-faced negro was caught in a third coiled arm, while in the fourth, a belligerent, red-faced matron dressed in neat serge and wearing a stiff sailor hat, pummeled the monster with a tightly rolled umbrella.  Other beasts following the first were also loaded down with captives, men, women, youths; white and black, without discrimination.  There was even a wire-haired terrier...               

              Leslie Frances Stone, The Human Pets of Mars (Amazing Stories, October 1936)

In other circumstances you may need to "meet the aliens half way".  That's to say, it may happen that a certain degree of co-operation is needed on the part of the victim in order to ensure that the kidnapping is successful.  For example, you might need to be stupid enough to walk into an alien spacecraft that has invitingly landed and opened its ramp for you to enter:

 ...all hastened in great excitement and gathered before the steps.
    Contrary to their not unnatural expectations, no one emerged from the vessel...  and the silence and solitude and mechanical adroitness of it all were uncanny...
    The open portal and stairs offered an obvious invitation; and after some hesitancy, the scientists made up their minds to enter.  Some were still fearful of a trap; but all the others were more powerfully drawn by curiosity and investigative ardor; and one by one they climbed the stairs and filed into the vessel...   

Clark Ashton Smith, Seedling of Mars (Wonder Stories Quarterly, Fall 1931, as "The Planet Entity")

Of course there are liable to be some downsides to being an interplanetary kidnap victim.  Despite the opportunities for travel, the motivation of the alien kidnapper is unlikely to accord with one's own interests.
    Ideally, then, one ought to be benevolently kidnapped. 

Stid:  That sounds like quite a trick to pull.  Such interference with my liberty is something I'd resent even if the intentions were good.

Zendexor:  It can still turn out all right, provided that the following condition is fulfilled: namely, that while the agents who grab you are malevolent, the deed was done at the behest of beings who did not foresee those agents' lack of scruple, nor their misunderstanding of what had been meant as a free invitation.  

 "...This busybody...  will not be missed for months, and even then no one will know where he was when he disappeared.  He came alone.  He left no address.  He has no family.  And finally he has poked his nose into the whole affair of his own accord."
    "Well, I confess I don't like it.  He is, after all, human...  Still, he's only an individual, and probably a quite useless one.  We're risking our own lives, too.  In a great cause - "
    "For the Lord's sake don't start all that stuff now.  We haven't time."
    "I dare say," replied Weston, "he would consent if he could be made to understand."
    "Take his feet and I'll take his head," said Devine.
    "If you really think he's coming round," said Weston, "you'd better give him another dose.  We can't start till we get the sunlight.  It wouldn't be pleasant to have him struggling in there for three hours or so..."

C S Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet (1938)

Stid:  It's a good method as far as it goes but still I foresee difficulties.  For instance - suppose the supply of mad scientists is not sufficiently plentiful in your area?  And even if there are some, suppose they haven't got round to inventing a clandestine means of space travel?  It could quite easily happen that way.  You simply can't rely on mad scientists to produce the needful.  What we want is a method which makes use not of money, nor of advances in physics, nor of convenient villains, but of total self-reliance.  The means of Getting There From Here must spring from one's own status as the hero of the adventure.  Really, nothing else will do.

Zendexor:  You don't ask for much, do you, Stid?  Oh well, this latest stipulation means I have no choice but to refer you to the ultimate authority.

the power of wishful thinking

 ...I turned my gaze from the landscape to the heavens where the myriad stars formed a gorgeous and fitting canopy for the wonders of the earthly scene.  My attention was quickly riveted by a large red star close to the distant horizon.  As I gazed upon it I felt a spell of overpowering fascination - it was Mars, the god of war, and for me, the fighting man, it had always held the power of irresistible enchantment.  As I gazed at it on that far-gone night it seemed to call across the unthinkable void, to lure me to it, to draw me as the lodestone attracts a particle of iron.
    My longing was beyond the power of opposition; I closed my eyes, stretched out my arms toward the god of my vocation and felt myself drawn with the suddenness of thought through the trackless immensity of space...

Thus John Carter in Edgar Rice Burroghs' A Princess of Mars (1912) tells us how he did it.  And the process seems to have been self-validating, for he wasn't plagued by any kind of doubt.  The following chapter begins:

I opened my eyes upon a strange and weird landscape.  I knew that I was on Mars; not once did I question either my sanity or my wakefulness.  I was not asleep, no need for pinching here; my inner consciousness told me as plainly that I was upon Mars as your conscious mind tells you that you are upon Earth.  You do not question the fact; neither did I.

The ultimate in authorial GAWI.  Let's leave it there.